This poem arose out of a minor crisis yesterday, at the office. I was unprepared for something important and felt my fear rising as the doomsday hour approached. It got to the point where I couldn’t think of anything else but my anxiety, so I started writing about it. I got half way through this poem and then had to tend to my scary task. When it was over and my heart rate had returned to normal, I sat down to finish the poem. But my motivation was gone and I was unable to pick up the thread. I was bummed because I liked where it was going but felt that I’d never be able to finish it. So I took a risk and forwarded my incomplete poem to my good good bud
Poet With A Day Job. She expertly extracted my head from my rear-end, got me out of the 3rd person and into the 1st person and made numerous poetic suggestions that really turned this piece around. What I’m trying to say is, “Thank You PWADJ! You rock!” This would be a very different poem if it wasn’t for her.
Fear
Your rise is inexorable
powered by an invisible moon
the God of my tide
You swell in every space within me
scattering my collected world
now blood-red, black and weeping
What was, is lost to me
as your heavy engine chuffs another
whistle-stop; your shrill cry divides
me but is otherwise unheard
Kissed but not loved, I am
for I know your true name
and lie down with you
incestuously; feel your chill-breath
upon my veil, opalescent
with some other light
Oh confident veil, departed
with so much of me in tow, how
little you’ve left behind to meet the task
But burn if you must these slender threads
sewn loosely here with no precision
for I am not the sum of spinners work
and when tides recede upon the moon’s exhale
I will again be more than I’ve become
by Dennis Tkon Copyright 2007
33 comments:
D - you know how I feel, great poem and thanks for the kind words. LOVE that picture. You are right, the fact that it is bigger than its frame is just perfect - to describe the locomotive AND the fear in the poem. Nice work!
i especially like the part about the veil--i don't know what it means, but there was a sense of surprise and mystery when i got to that word that interested me.
I like how you equated fear to a locomotive that powers through, getting closer and closer. I see the veil as the veneer, the *public* face that shows confidence even as fear bears down on you. As fear then takes that veil and burns it, you realize that although fear has hurt you once again, like a locomotive, it will continue off into the distance, and leave your body behind. Intact.
Wonderful poem Dennis, I'm glad you were able to finish and share.
Hope you have a great weekend.
I just love that first stanza. Now, that's an entrance.
Really evokes fear and overcoming it and how that leaves you stronger.
PWADJ – I just can’t thank you enough!
BRIAN – You’re dead on with your interpretation. Especially your comments about the veil. Thanks for reading!
RETHABILE – I like the first stanza too! Thanks for reading!
PAUL – I appreciate your stopping by and commenting – I agree with what you say about being stronger afterwards – If you’re going to have to suffer fear, at least you should get something out of it, right?
Hi, Dennis: I enjoyed reading your 'FEAR' and 'THE BODY REMEMBERS'. Will read more when I click your page again.
Maybe, you too would like to visit my blogs:
http://rksingh.blogspot.com
http://profrsingh.blogspot.com
and read my poems. If possible, please do share your views on them.
Best wishes
R K Singh
Came back for seconds, LOL!
Dennis,
Fear is a powerful emotion, and you've given it good measure here!
I always waffle on what is the stronger emotion or more destructive: fear or anger?
Nicely done.
A glass of wine for the poet?
rel
As usual Dennis your mastery of the language you use is highly impressive. This is a really well-written poem, evocative of your fear and enigmatic in its content. Thanks Dennis.
Dennis,
I find it amazing that you were able to sit down and weave this poem, using all of your senses, in the midst of such a powerful emotion. And I love how you end it -- Phoenix rising! Inspirational.
I always read and re-read your poems. I find something new each time I read those.
Those take me into journey of some sort. One way or the other.
Let me try this again, Dennis! I had a pretty bad typo in the first one so I thought better to remove it quickly! Here's what I said though!
"I will again be more than I’ve become"- this was just perfect. This poem actually created a little bit of fear in me as I read it- but isn't that what great poems and poets are supposed to do?
Thanks, Dennis, too, for you wonderful comments on my poem...
Very Nice work Dennis. I could almost taste your fear. The images you used left me chilled. Great poem.
love-bd
Love the last stanza! And how the poem gets more amd more poweful, like a train, as it gets closer to the end.
Hey! I feel cheated! You should send me another poem special private, so I can have something new to look at! Otherwise, you ought to post another excellent story this weekend.
And, what more can I say about this piece D? It's great. Thanks for letting me work with you on it.
Thanks to everyone who stopped by, visited, left love, kindness or just goofed on me!
You are all very kind and generous with your comments. I really enjoy blogging with you all week after week.
Thanks!
I love the imagery in this poem -- you always have such powerful imagery. Addressing the reader was a great choice, as well. The last stanza is also fantastic.
I did read the poem over and over like many and I still don't know what one of the words means. You did a great job and I appreciate you not making it a guessing game or riddle. I really just wanted to thank you for the comment you wrote back to the bloggers. That helps. I think I am going to cut off my computer soon because I am going nuts trying to read every poem. (look at the comments on PT for today towards the bottom #71 or so-mine...arg)
LOL! Chris - which word, perhaps I can help you out!! Hey, you seem to be getting stressed out over this prompt. Just relax man, it's like a balloon. Once you let it go, just watch where it goes and enjoy the show!
Peace brother!
kiseed but not loved.
great line.
Wow, I could feel the fear. This poem takes you along. The resemblance to the locomotive is perfect. I want to read it over and over again. Wonderful.
Good metaphor and I particualrly like the beginning and the end of this poem
I love this poem.
So many things resonate, I don't know where to begin. Okay, the beginning:
"powered by an invisible moon
the God of my tide"
"for I know your true name"
The ending is so exquisite that I could cry:
"or I am not the sum of spinners work
and when tides recede upon the moon’s exhale
I will again be more than I’ve become"
I'm in complete awe of the language, the flow, the images, and the deep mysteries.
Wendy - thanks for stopping by! You know how much I love your work!
Fragmentsinsight: I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading.
Crafty - Thanks for stopping by and reading! Always nice to see you!!
Sideon - I'm glad you liked this piece. Your comments are very kind. This poem is actually one of my favorites (at least for today!!)
OOPS!!! Sorry Dennis, I thought I had stopped by and left a comment before.
My bad. :(
It's funny, but to me, this poem is interesting, because I get this from the other side of the veil. Madd calls it residual. I think it is easier to be fearless as an other.
You have such a way with words. Thanks for being my friend.
Rose
xo
Rose - It makes perfect sense that as an other, you could be fearless. Thanks for helping me to see that from your perspective! And, as always, thanks for stopping by - it's good to have you as a friend!
Michelle - I'm glad you liked this poem. I'm always thrilled when you stop by and post! Thanks again!
Bravo! I love the ending especially!
Ooh, I love the veiled mystery in this poem, the reference to trains, the allusion of fog - brilliant!
Holy crap! This is probably my favorite poem by you. I like the feeling it gave me, that heart racing, uh, well, i won't try to describe it, but it's a nice feeling. Wonderful poem, Dennis.
I.Monique - Darling, I'll take a "Holy Crap" from you any day!!! I'm flattered and excited that you liked this. But do keep in mind, I received some absolutely wonderful coaching from my pal Poet with a day job, so I can't take all of the credit. But I do so much love this poem!!!!
Thanks for reading and commenting!
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