If you read this blog, then you’re aware that I have food issues. Not plural, just one – I eat when I’m highly stressed and lately, that’s most of the time. I wanted to talk to my therapist about it this morning, but I had an amazing dream last night, and dream work takes precedence over everything, so we didn’t talk about donuts. Instead, we talked about my dream, in which I was required to cry all of my tears into a cup and then somehow, the depth of my tears would be the ultimate measure of my soul. No, really! It seems bizarre that I can be undergoing this phenomenal spiritual transformation, and tap into the limitless power of the Universe, but remain helpless to a box of donuts.My last post featured my Ego – Center Stage! It thinks I’m trying to kill it with all of my Consciousness work and it acts up like a three-year old regularly. I try very hard to keep my ego in check, because if I don’t, it shames me. Robin ( r’s-musings) suggested in her comment to an earlier post that she tries to follow this motto “What we resist persists.” Recognizing the brilliance in her suggestion, I thought I’d give it a try. I’d been trying to stuff my ego in a box over the last few weeks without success, and its been making me depressed. So I decided to hand the pen to my ego. It worked! I wrote a completely self-centered poem and discharged all of the excess ego energy that needed to get out. I felt like a million bucks after that (thank you Robin!) and my ego has been behaving nicely ever since.
Back to the eating . . . I figured if it worked for my inner-child, why not for my inner-glutton? So I wrote a powerful poem motivated by the energy usually reserved for eating. Again, it felt very good to get all of this on paper and I feel adequately discharged (again, thank you Robin!!) I haven’t eaten any crap yet today and I don’t feel the urge to either. Perhaps we’ve discovered a new form of therapy!!! By the way, I’m not really a glutton and to look at me, you wouldn’t know I have an eating issue – but God! It sure feels that way, especially when it gets out of control. (<---- My ego made me tell you this.) The poem isn’t factual, but it captures what it feels like to be me when I’m activated around food. Mostly, I’m feeling a lot of gratitude today – it’s a relief to feel relief.
Dr. Seuss on a Sugar Bender
Sugar is my enemy
Although it sort of grows on me
My stomach disproportionately
To what my waist size ought to be
Ate six donuts in one day
How much more now do I weigh
Contributing to tooth decay
I wish there was a thinner way
How much crap can one guy eat
And did I really need that treat
Surrendering to every sweet
Goddamn! I really miss my feet
The snacks that I should most eschew
I seem to buy and bite and chew
I’ll eat the paper package too
And then the bag before I’m through
My hunger to be un-unique
Has put me up that well known creek
Alas my boat has sprung a leak
That’s what I get for being weak
My cat waits by my feet for crumbs
As I consume tremendous sums
I push the food beyond my gums
With filthy-food-encrusted thumbs
Spaghetti-O’s a bag of fries
The promises to me all lies
A week’s worth full of useless tries
The ride to work and two more pies
I drive my car to foreign towns
Hit bakeries and make the rounds
My secret life of pie and pounds
Alone with just the chewing sounds
By Dennis Tkon Copyright 2006
4 comments:
What a thoughtful post, Dennis. A perfect example of what I've learned in A Course In Miracles. It says that when we heal, we do not heal alone. I believe that wholeheartedly. Thank you very much for sharing this. It's nice to know that reading of my struggles and triumphs are helpful to you, too. As we grow, we help each other grow, don't we. Thanks again.
Indeed Robin, and thanks for the e-mail!
it's great that you can redirect the energy you'd use for eating normally. I'm sure that's not easy to do.
All this needs is Seuss's inimitable drawings.
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