Saturday, April 14, 2007
Just a quick post to let everyone know that I’m back from Sarasota. How was it you ask? It rained – all but two days. But don’t worry, I’m used to it. (He is?) Yup. Every trip I’ve taken since 1993 has been accompanied by rain. A few examples. In 1993, I went to LA on business. It hadn’t rained in months. I got there and the skies opened up so badly that houses were undermined and slid down the hills along with the mud. News reports said the volume of rain was unprecedented.
Every year or so I go to Sarasota. It doesn’t matter what time of year I go – it rains. Anyone familiar with Florida weather patterns knows that it usually only rains for a few hours at most and then it’s done. While I was there it rained all day, most days. Oh, by the way, It hadn’t rained in Sarasota since late November 2006. I went there last week and ended the drought.
Last year I went to Phoenix. They were in the middle of a 120-day drought. The severity made the world news each night. I went there in February and brought the rain back to the plains. New Mexico trip last summer. Same thing. No rain for months. Forest fires everywhere. But this trip was weird regarding the rain. New Mexico is a big state. Obviously it can’t rain everywhere right? If I traveled north of Albuquerque it rained north of Albuquerque. If we went south of Albuquerque it rained south of Albuquerque.
By this time, I’m starting to believe that I have magical powers. So listen to this. I went several hours west of Albuquerque to an Indian reservation in the mountains. There’s this one group that lives on top of a mesa – very isolated and backward folks, but lovely people. They hadn’t seen rain in months and everyone in the tribe we met told us so. So for fun, I told every Indian on that mesa that it would rain on them before I left their pueblo that day because I had the power to make it rain. None of them believed me. Minutes later, I pointed to the south and there were dark rain clouds approaching. Honest to god, they came directly towards the mesa and passed right overhead. It was sunny to the north, east and west, but directly overhead, it poured for 20 minutes. Then it stopped, just like that. They all went into their little houses and came out with something called Fry-bread and gave it to me to eat and told me that I was a Rain-Spirit. To be honest with you, they were very scared of me after that. I’ll never forget how large their eyes were – (o)(o) It was pretty funny until my wife got annoyed at all the attention I was getting and suggested to the Indians that they ask me to do it again. We promptly left (but not without a generous supply of Fry-bread!)
Anyway, I figure that I’m cursed or something since it rains every time I leave the state of Delaware. Currently, I’m looking into whether or not I can earn some money renting out my services. In exchange for two first class airline tickets, a week in a four star or better hotel, all expenses paid and Ten-thousand dollars, I’ll go anywhere and make it rain. If it doesn’t rain (which has never happened) you get to keep your Ten-grand. What do you think? Any takers?