Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Poetry Thursday: Redux

I thought this week's Poetry Thursday challenge was an awesome idea by Dana and Liz – thanks ladies! I’m sure I’m not the only one who is going to attempt to do this, but I couldn't resist and I hope this doesn't bore you. I basically collected a bunch of lines from the first forty or so posted and just let them run. They are actually in the order in which they were posted. I didn’t use every post, but of those used, they are in the exact order in which they were posted on Poetry Thursday.(Check if you doubt!) I found that together, the lines had a poetry all their own. Perhaps because each line was the progeny of everyone’s wonderful work, each had what it takes to stand together. Then again, maybe I’m crazy. I threw in some connectors and modifiers and changed a couple of “he”s to “she”s to maintain agreement, and tried to leave them untouched as much as possible. Here’s what they created when put together. I think this is a wonderful jambalaya of poetry. I’d expect to see several variations on this idea – it was just too tempting and I’m sure I’ll be in good company. All of your posts were amazing and I’m sorry if I didn’t use yours here. All were considered as of Tuesday afternoon when I wrote this.

I have to give a special thanks to Poet With A Day Job for posting the last line of this poem!!! Thank God for you girl! As for the rest of you, THANK YOU and see if you can spot your line!




Redux

And here in her land of dark she dies, dies, dies,
when the mean reds get meaner
She wants you to know her secrets
each, resting in a clean white bowl
They cut the same, you know
and are as real as any other death

Dreaming shadows into being
as if in a glass we poured our love
And though forgotten by gravity
other bodies tumble and fall over us
Heal around the edges of the wound
which you stab with your pen

One size is sad, she said
scouring paths of escape
She sways on the tide of the breeze
though they never told her not to go there
I am not innocent

Each of us floating to our deaths
look west to the men of stone
There is certain holiness in repetition
And thoughts of you keep sleep away
while the whole city leans back
And I can’t find God anywhere that I’m not

(I wish I could take credit for this!!) Dennis - 2007

27 comments:

Brian said...

Well Dennis. I guess there is no point in any of us doing any poems this week. What a brilliant idea to put all these together. And you are so right, it is a complete poem.

*shakes head and walks away muttering*

Poet with a Day Job said...

Ah D! I was TOTALLY going to do that! Ha! I will try anyway - I haven't read the poem you've left yet, because I don't want it to skew my own exercise in the same thing! Great minds think alike!

Dennis said...

Awww. C'mon! There still has to be over a million possible ways to work this project! *calling after Brian "HEY! Come back . . . *

Dennis said...

Poet - Doesn't this week's task just beg for that sort of treatment? I knew I'd be in good company! I'm glad you're going to give it a whirl! Go for it!

Brian said...

Hi Dennis. Yes I got your e-mail and I will be replying soon. Spent the evening with my wife instead of online, but she is out tonight. Do you answer at home or only at work? I don't have e-mail at work only at home.

Brian said...

Btw, I did write two poems for tomorrow. I think you will like them, and Dewy wrote a very funny one herself.

R's Musings said...

What a great idea, Dennis. The poem is excellent! I've been thinking of doing something similar, myself. Guess I'd better get to it!

Rethabile said...

What's there to say? You got there a "we're-the-world" kind of poem.

L. Monique said...

Dennis, I wrote down almost 10 lines and wracked my brain trying to narrow it down to one. I wish I had had the guts to go with em all. I thought the Poetry Police would get me!

Wonderful integration of all these lines. It made a beautiful poem that I enjoyed reading. Not at all boring. :)Everyone who contributed lines to this masterpiece, yippee for you.

Deb R said...

I would've thought that doing that would result in something completely incoherent, but I'd have been wrong - it all worked together beautifully and really told a story. Wow! Very cool.

DewyKnickers said...

Thanks Dennis for stopping by and commenting. I really like the way you wrote all these lines into one poem.

Sassy Dewy

xo

Remiman said...

Dennis,
Well concieved and presented. You made it all come togeter in a cohesive and meaningful way.
rel

G said...

Bravo! I was thinking last night that this would be a great idea and you've done it very well, Dennis! What a great poem.

writerwoman said...

LOVE IT! I am going to mention this post on Poets Who Blog.
What I great job you did.

By the way, my line is the first one from your piece.

Thanks so much for using it in this new and remarkable way.

Bye,

Sara

Poet with a Day Job said...

Hey Dennis! You know I did the same - I love yours! It's funny how dealing with the same lines can have such different outcomes...anyway, excellent. I am particularly fond of: "She wants you to know her secrets
each, resting in a clean white bowl"

And you are welcome for that line. You can have it as a gift - for yourself to use in some poem some time should you want to. Seriously!

Dennis said...

Poet - thanks for the offer! I agree, it's cool how the lines are just full of so much possibility! Actually, when I read it after I compiled it (can't really say wrote it), to me, it was like looking at one of those M.C. Escher drawings. I kept saying, "Huh? does that really work?" and then was just surprised how the images kept morphing into the next idea. Weird!! And I'm absolutely going to keep your line for future use! I'll be sure to give you props and credit!!!

Regina Clare Jane said...

I'm in there! Thanks, Dennis- and wonderful job!

Beloved Dreamer said...

Dennis, all those line make a wonderful and powerful poem Aren't you a clever one. Bravo my friend.


love-bd

twilightspider said...

And together we can make beautiful music. Wonderful execution of something that shouldn't have been able to work so well - and I'm honored to have found my own line hidden away in there. Bravo!

Dani said...

This experiment came together really well. BTW, thanks for using my line! I was beginning to think I chose something too difficult to work with :-).

Alex aka Gypsy Girl said...

Genius, Dennis! I love how it turned out!

ecm said...

Great job and working all those lines together.

Crafty Green Poet said...

It works wonderfully and I'm delighted to see my line in there, nestling in with the rest.

Pauline said...

Well done! I tried that same thing with the first 80 lines but like L. Monique, thought the poetry police might frown. So much for being held back by fear. May I borrow your poem for my Writing Workshop? My students might like to give this a go.

Dennis said...

Sure Pauline - Feel free to use anything here. Glad you liked it.

And thanks to everyone for stopping by and commenting on this week's PT post. There seemed to be a lot of excitement this week around this post. I can't recall there ever being so much discussion and interaction among the members. Thanks again Liz & Dana!!

gautami tripathy said...

WEaving all those lines into one poem! Well, I like it. No line seems out of place.

my backyard said...

amazing